![]() Koopa: Throughout his adventure across the land, Conker has seen his fair share of feats. While we don’t see it used to its full extent in the games, it seems to have a jetpack, and can lift up to at least 400 pounds. And when Conker needs extra firepower, he pulls out his mech suit, which resembles the Power Loader from Alien. He regularly uses a frying pan, which was strong enough to knock a gargoyle off of a bridge, and he can even… turn into an anvil. Anyways, even with Conker’s access to many machine guns, flamethrowers and rocket launchers, he can still pack a punch on his own. Koopa, while Neo is still talking: Eh, Neo?īubbles, putting a hand on Koopa's shoulder: Just let her have her fun. Neo: Hey, writer! Write me up a million dollars! Helloooo? Neo: Hey, does that mean we have access to the writer of this fight? Koopa: Not only does he have that, but he also seems to have some sort of connection to the programmers of his own game, and even convinced them to give him a katana to kill the Panther King and become the new king of the land. And I mean ANY situation, like when he was too drunk to think straight, but he was able to pull out a glass of water to sober up. Basically, when Conker stands over the right ground, he can pull anything and everything from his pockets like a goddamn Looney Tunes character! These can range from guns, chainsaws, drugs, liquor, basically anything he needs to solve any sort of situation. Aside from a move that allows him to spin his tail like a helicopter, allowing him to cross large gaps, Conker has access to something called Context Sensitive. Koopa: Despite his overall dumb demeanor, Conker has access to quite the arsenal. However, Conker couldn’t do all of this without some tricks up his sleeve. Neo: You mean AWESOME?! C’mon, name another game that has flowers with boobs, opera-singing literal piles of shit and NAZI TEDDY BEARS?!īubbles: Silly plot regardless, Conker would set out on the adventure of a lifetime which ranges from saving his girlfriend Berri, and thwarting the Panther King’s plans. ![]() The land that Conker lives under is a mysterious one, but it was ruled by the Panther King, who put a bounty on the head of Conker because… he needed a fourth leg for his side table, and his head-scientist deduces that Conker would be just the perfect height. Neo: Nothing beats a night out with the boys! Though in this case, an alcoholic red squirrel drank way too much, and ended up going on an epic quest he was not prepared for! Geez, if only that happened when I drank too much. Koopa, Bubbles and Neo: A DEATH BATTLE!!! Koopa: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win… Neo: She’s Bubbles, he’s Koopa, and I’m Neo! Koopa: Like Conker, Rare’s vulgar red squirrel.īubbles: And Rocket Raccoon, the Guardians of the Galaxy’s expert pilot. ![]() Neo: You know what squirrels and raccoons are good for? Nothing, they’re just there to eat your garbage or… crap, I don’t even know what squirrels do! That’s how useless they are!īubbles: Regardless, these two prove that even the most mundane of creatures can be chaotic and sport absurdly large guns.
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